january 22, 2025
i can't think of a more apt topic for my first blog post than a small thinkpiece on what has very quickly become my favorite album by one of my favorite artists. 22, A Million is one of those albums that i just didn't get at first. the harsh, electronic production was hard for me to adjust to as big fan of For Emma, Forever Ago and Bon Iver, Bon Iver. but in mid-december 2024, amidst one of my most fascinating mental health episodes yet (though not my worst), everything finally clicked. this album finally gave a sound to what i had been feeling for months on end and was a key player in me digging myself out of the hole i was in and falling back in love with life. and the only way i can show my appreciation for this album is to dissect each song and what it means to me.
this album is definitely one that's best experienced live. i can't think of a single track that i don't prefer live. the production lends itself perfectly to the massive setup that Justin & co. bring on stage, and i cannot recommend enough Bon Iver's pioneer works performance.
22 (OVER S∞∞N)
"it might be over soon."
the album opens politely with 22 (OVER S∞∞N). with just a sampled and synthesized vocal loop amidst the song's refrain, "it might be over soon" through much of the beginning of the track, it serves as a gentle introduction to this very jarring album. that line sets the mood for the album, which is very existential and explorative, grappling with religion, purpose, and shows a glimpse into Justin Vernon's mind as he struggled to cope with being the face of an entire genre.
this track to me is the feeling of impending doom, knowing that something massive and unavoidable is happening soon and not being able to do anything besides sit with it. this song is comforting, and just unsettling enough to make you feel that pit in your stomach when you realize that everything is finally reaching a breaking point. there's no better opening track for this album that for me, represents a period of intense change, because 22 (OVER S∞∞N) represents that catalyst. that feeling of knowing that it might be over soon.
10 d E A T h b R E a s T ⚄ ⚄
"i'm unoprhaned in our northern lights."
the album immediately jumps from the least to potentially the most abrasive track immediately. this one is pretty polarizing, but i personally really enjoy the angry washing machine sound of this song! the production is very overstimulating, intentionally, and to me represents that hazy feeling post-[insert mind-shocking event here]. this song to me is carried by the horns throughout the back half, proving once again that Michael Lewis and Sad Sax of Shit (yes that's the real name of the horn group!) are musical geniuses and absolutely a key player in this band.
this track is one of many from Bon Iver that makes me go "i have no clue what the fuck he's talking about, but i like how it sounds!"
side note, the word "deathbreast" is absolutely supposed to sound like "Beth/Rest", the closing track from Bon Iver's previous album. the connection between the two songs is not clear at all, but it's a connection!
715 - CRΣΣKS
"god damn, turn around now, you're my a-team."
the Messina
715 - CRΣΣKS is a beautiful showcase of potentially the most uniquely Bon Iver sound, the Messina. the Messina is essentially a vocoder on crack, and is a frankensteining of multiple different elements that the band isn't exactly open about. from what i can gather, it's based around a low-latency version of Antares Harmony Engine that is connected to a MIDI keyboard. Justin's clean vocal is run into ableton and auto-tuned to the nearest semitone, and possibly split out to a separate chain that keeps the vocal on the root of the key. from there, the MIDI keyboard can be used to build harmonies live. it's impressive, musically and technologically, and is what made me fall in love with this band.
the song
i am absolutely in love with this song. as an unapologetic a cappella nerd, this song scratches the same itch as Hide and Seek by Imogen Heap and The Hymn of Acxiom by Vienna Teng. this song is just dripping with loneliness and desperation, and it makes sense why Justin struggles to perform this one live. it's just so raw. this track is the crushing weight of realizing that yeah, you're actually alone, and there's no amount of pleading that can undo that. i can't visit this track super often, instead, it lies in my list of songs that i'm only allowed to listen to mid-breakdown. a unique honor among songs in my playlist.
33 "GOD"
"i could go forward in the light, well i better fold my clothes."
i owe so much to this song. rediscovering this song in the midst of a depressive episode, this song is what made me realize that i had let myself get comfortable being miserable. this is the song that got me out of bed for the first time in weeks. this is the song that made me comfortable walking away from studying music, the only thing i've ever felt i was distinctly "good" at. this is the song that made me realize that there was more to life than what i was letting myself experience, and for those reasons, this track is absolutely transcendent.
even without my personal connection to it, this is musically such a standout track on the album. the track shifts into this loud cacophony of drums and a synth-bass so disgusting it makes my brain shake (in the best way possible) at around the 1:25 mark, and shows that Matt McCaughan is another underrated force in this band. and all of this is only amplified live. i love this song a normal amount.
29 #Strafford APTS
"a womb, an empty robe, enough, you're rolling up, you're holding it, you're fabric now."
this song is maybe the least thinly veiled song on the album. it's about smoking weed and good friends, which are two things i know a lot about! when i listen to this song, i think about the experience of finding comfort in my friends after feeling so alone. this song is smoking a joint with my best friend on her porch while i cried about whatever problem i had that day. this song is community.
i struggle a lot with self-isolation. a mix of autism and severe anxiety makes it hard for me to make and keep friends as i convince myself very easily that everybody hates me and wants me to die. but despite that, i still have a great group of friends that tolerate all my bullshit! and still like me! and for me, this song is about them.
666 ʇ
"fuck the fashion of it, dear."
i didn't understand this song at first. even now that i've sat with this song, this is one of a few tracks on the album i don't have a super strong emotional attachment to. it's about a struggle with faith and religion, a common theme on this album, but growing up pretty irreligious, i don't have a lot to tie in to this song.
musically, however, holy fucking shit. the production on this song has always driven me absolutely crazy and i love it. the vocal treatment on "bit by bit" in the chorus that creates that incubus-adjacent sort of sound tickles my brain, and the subtle bleepy synth (for lack of a better term) is just really sonically pleasing. i enjoy this song a lot. i think my favorite part of the song has to be how beautifully it transitions into...
21 M♢♢N WATER
"the path ahead, the path behind it, it's moon water."
i've always been a slut for a good transition between tracks. however, as a song, it doesn't do much for me. i enjoy it in the flow of the album, but very rarely find myself revisiting this track outside of a full listen through. to me, it serves more as an interlude between the prior tracks and the finale of the album. 21 M♢♢N WATER's status as an interlude is further solidified with the transition in from 666 ʇ and the transition out to...
8 (circle)
"unburdened and becoming."
if i had to pick a single song to represent this album, it would be this one. 8 (circle) feels like a perfect realization of all of Bon Iver's previous work and wow, this track just shimmers. allow me to contradict my earlier statement, because i do prefer the studio version of this song. the mixing is just so perfect.
this song to me is taking action. this song comes after you realize that you're fucking it all up, and is when you finally change things for yourself. the crescendo elevates me to an actual spiritual place. while i wouldn't put this song in first place on an album ranking, it's top 3 for sure, and objectively the best song on this album. absolutely zero notes.
side note: this song references Dante's Inferno pretty heavily. i'm not familiar enough with the Divine Comedy to go super in-depth about it, but i really enjoy this reddit post about it.
____45_____
"i've been caught in fire, i stayed down."
they put the Messina on a fucking saxophone??? holy shit. the saxophone is clearly supposed to be the key focus of the track, and putting the Messina on it is just so beautiful. there's poetry in the fact that the main instrument in this song, which is about personal tumult and feeling trapped and alone, is being operated in such a way that requires two people: one on the sax (in this case, Colin Stetson), and one on the MIDI keyboard. lyrically, it's very simple, but it doesn't need to be anything more than what it is. this song is a fantastic reset for and transition into the last track on the album…
00000 Million
"if it's harmed me, it's harmed me, it'll harm me, i'll let it in."
if there's one thing this band knows how to do, it's how to end an album. this song moves me like no other song on the album. 00000 Million is radical acceptance. it's realizing that whatever happens, it's out of my hands, and there's nothing to do but roll with the punches as they come. the track speaks for itself. just listen to it.
this song samples Fionn Regan's song Abacus, from his debut album, The End of History. Fionn Regan has very quickly shot up on my list of favorite artists, and i can only credit this song for that. this video of Justin and Fionn performing Abacus together is one of my favorite things ever.
conclusion and track ranking
obviously, 22, a million is an album that means a lot to me, as evidenced by the fact that i just wrote a whole lot of words about it. i understand that this isn't an album for everybody, but if electronic music is your thing, i cannot recommend this album enough. i'm including my own ranking of these 10 tracks, but please, spend some time with this album. let it grow on you. watch some live performances. it's life changing.
- 00000 Million
- 33 "GOD"
- 8 (circle)
- 29 #Strafford APTS
- 715 - CRΣΣKS
- 22 (OVER S∞∞N)
- 10 d E A T h b R E a s T ⚄ ⚄
- 666 ʇ
- ____45_____
- 21 M♢♢N WATER